1998 Cannes Film Festival Diaries
I Think I Cannes #3

by Jerry (the usher)

So, here I am back in Cannes. I went to visit Mr. Bigdeal, Esq. at the Majestic to deliver his laptop. He was in a suite, pretty impressive. Those suites cost a fortune, particularly during the festival "haute saison".

"Great, glad to see you. Thanks for bringing that." He took the laptop, went over to a table, opened it up. I figured he was going to turn it on and see if it was OK. I didn't snoop his files because I thought maybe he's got a security program and would know if I had booted it up.

Anyway, he doesn't turn it on. Instead, he takes out a screwdriver, loosesns a couple of screws, opens up the case, and pulls out an envelope.

"Want a little toot, my man?" he says. Sacrebleu, he had used me as his mule! I declined, this low blow was blow enough, I felt like I was about to blow some chunks and blew out of there pretty quick.